Chandrima Pal

My friend, an artist by calling, has been watching a lot of TV these days. Needless to say, the effects of these long hours with the tube have not been too well. She has been complaining of nausea and nagging headache, besides a pessimism that cannot be cured with the finest chocolates. "It's disgusting," she says, about a certain programme on India TV. The channel had apparently done a special on a man who specialises in...ahem... eating live lizards! So there she was, trapped at home because of the rains, with the camera following how the poor lizard was trying to crawl away, and how the man was chasing it. He was about to gulp it down, when the lizard bit his tongue. With blood dripping from his tongue, the man turned to the camera triumphantly, before devouring two of the live lizards whose tails were wriggling from his mouth. "Hmmm, maybe that's how we got Wrigley's chewing gums," piped another friend, ducking the pillows and newspapers being hurled at him.

I fared slightly better when under similar circumstances I happened to watch a woman who specialises in eating ice. (Ha ha I am not giving you the name of the channel, I love my job way too much you see!). The camera caught her at home, feasting on chunks of ice, and then the family (with a kid in tow) was in the studio. There, in an Indianised version of Ripley's Believe It Or not, the lady proceeded to wolf down large chunks of ice, with great relish.

Back to my friend, she was again suitably traumatised when she chanced upon another news channel that allegedly caught ghosts on camera and talked about a beautiful Garhwal valley that was 'allegedly' haunted by the spirits of 'yetis' and '10-feet-tall men and women wearing size 13 chappals'. "When villagers say the valley is haunted, it must be haunted," asserted a rather grim-looking 'scientist' who had accompanied the crew with nothing but a ball-point pen. The package, aired over the weekend, was closer to a Ramsay Brothers' horror show than an exclusive news feature, replete with special effects, clanging music, smoke machines and red light.

Every time we meet now, my friend looks at me rather accusingly. "You media guys are disgusting!" is her refrain. Er...yeah...maybe she has a point you know...